The Five Simple Secrets to Success (p 229) (Daniel Goldman) Why is the skill important? What is it/How to do it? (examples) Exercises 1. Rapport Why is it important?:
When you meet new people it is important to let them know who you are, and get to know them in order to create a network, and be successful. Through an open body language, you let them in and make them feel in a comfortable position. It is the first step in almost everything, meeting new people, arriving a new place, in many situations you need to interact and speak to people you do not know, and by being able to make a good first impression and be good at interacting with unknown people, the more likely you are to be successful in reaching your goal.
How to do it?
Ask questions, listen, shake hands, eye contact, smile – open body language
What to talk about
Name, job, goals, values, likes, interests..
Exercise: Get to know a person and let them know you – in one minute
Make a list of important things to mention/consider to create a good first impression and remembrance – e.g. how you shake hands
The Rapport Exercise 1: Meet new people
Take five minutes to consider what you 1) want to tell about yourself in the first minute of a conversation and 2) what you want to know about a new contact (these might be closely related)
Then consider how you would like to sell yourself/get the information
Now find a person you do not know (or not very well) and use one minute focusing on you, one on them
Use the scaling sheet to evaluate and discuss how well you did and what to improve on
Now do it again with a new person
Exercise: Make a 90 sec pitch about yourself
Take five minutes to consider how you would present/sell yourself
Boil it down to the 90 sec
Sit in groups of 4-5 people and each do your 90 sec pitch
Afterwards give each other feedback and discuss (make sheet of things to notice)
Exercise: Handshake drill
everybody stand up and walk around among each other, and shake hands one time with everyone you pass
Every time think about how that handshake feels - good, bad, intimidating, warm, cold, welcoming, rejecting, fun, quick, strong, and how this affect how you fell about the person
At the end of the drill, take out a few examples of peoples experiences - their comments
2. Empathy Why is it important?:
When you know who they are, it is important to establish a connection, a stronger connection. This is done through empathy, where you show your unselfish sides, listen and engage in their personalities. Empathy is like an emotional guidance system that helps us in getting along (ref. Goleman p 139). By listening and seeing the issue from another's point of view, you engage in understanding the problem and understanding them. Not to suggest solutions, but more a way to show you care.
By being able to read your "contacts" feelings, you have a greater chance of acting/behaving in a way that suits their current situation/mood. This implies that if you seek for specific information or are trying to sell a product, it will easier if you have empathy with them, to achieve your goal.
How to do it?
Feel others, not selfish, establish a connection
examples: doctors/medicine suing
Exercise: Learn to be empathic – not sympathetic
Take five minutes to think of a real or unreal story that put you in a bad position of made you feel bad/sad
Share your story with your friend and see how they show empathy. Do it both ways to both get the feeling of how to show empathy.
Now use the scaling sheet to evaluate the outcome.
Do it again, but make up a story where it is more difficult to feel empathy, like “I just slept with my best friends boyfriend and feel really bad”
3. Coorporation Why is it important?:
The importance of good coorporation is difficult to avoid. In every aspect of your life, you will need to corporate with people, in jobs, relationships, activities etc. Through good corporation better results will be achieved and wasted time and double work will be lowered. Good corporation will also create a good vibe around the work, bring the best out in team mates and make it more fun to do the work.
Also through iteration and with different influences, concepts will be developed and improved.
How to do it?
listen, take on different hats, be open, keep a nice tone, iteration, positivity
Exercise: Learn to corporate quickly Exercise: See your teammates strengths/weaknesses Exercise: The value of iteration
4. Persuasion Why is it important?
A good skill to have to be successful is the ability to persuade. If it is a product you are selling, a story you are telling or just giving information about yourself, it is essential that people trust you and believe your word.
How to do it?
Always be selling, persuade them to like what you have, get under their skin
Know your facts
Exercise: persuade your friend something really bad is good (child work e.g.)
Make a list of e.g. 20 subjects for the book
Make a scaling sheet to evaluate how good you did, and what could be improved
Did you feel more likely to change your attitude towards the subject?
Did you feel convinced?
Did you see if from another point of view?
Did you learn anything?
What could be improved?
The Persuasion Exercise 1:
Ask your friend to think of something they think is really bad, in society, people, environment, school, what ever! (Both do this)
Now take five minutes each to think about how you can turn this to be positive and persuade your friend to like what he/she despised
When both of you have done this, use the scaling sheet to evaluate how well you think they did, and what could be improved
Persuasion Exercise 2 - selling:
Ask your friend of a product they would never buy
Take 10 minutes (more if needed) to research this product and find everything you can
Now try and sell the product, persuade your friend to buy this
Again fill out the scaling sheet and discuss what was good/bad
5. Reach Concensus Why is it important?
Being able to compromise and reach consensus is essential in closing "the deal" or getting something done. Maybe you have persuaded your friend at some point, but by showing you are willing to give something up in order for them take part in the agreement, you can win their confidence completely.
Shared goals is the key
How to do it?
Be open
Be willing to negotiate
Flexibility
Exercise
Sit in groups of two
Each take a few things you are fond of or have in your pocket or make up some stuf
Now start selling one of your things in order to get something your partner has.
Bring out the attributes of yours, and focus on what you want
Try to negotiate
It is a both way exercise, so both persons must do this at the same time
Try different approaches in order to reach your target
When you have reached consensus - either by switching objects or not, discuss the exercise
Why is the skill important?
What is it/How to do it? (examples)
Exercises
1. Rapport
Why is it important?:
When you meet new people it is important to let them know who you are, and get to know them in order to create a network, and be successful. Through an open body language, you let them in and make them feel in a comfortable position. It is the first step in almost everything, meeting new people, arriving a new place, in many situations you need to interact and speak to people you do not know, and by being able to make a good first impression and be good at interacting with unknown people, the more likely you are to be successful in reaching your goal.
How to do it?
- Ask questions, listen, shake hands, eye contact, smile – open body language
What to talk aboutExercise: Get to know a person and let them know you – in one minute
- Make a list of important things to mention/consider to create a good first impression and remembrance – e.g. how you shake hands
The Rapport Exercise 1: Meet new people- Take five minutes to consider what you 1) want to tell about yourself in the first minute of a conversation and 2) what you want to know about a new contact (these might be closely related)
- Then consider how you would like to sell yourself/get the information
- Now find a person you do not know (or not very well) and use one minute focusing on you, one on them
- Use the scaling sheet to evaluate and discuss how well you did and what to improve on
- Now do it again with a new person
Exercise: Make a 90 sec pitch about yourselfExercise: Handshake drill
2. Empathy
Why is it important?:
When you know who they are, it is important to establish a connection, a stronger connection. This is done through empathy, where you show your unselfish sides, listen and engage in their personalities. Empathy is like an emotional guidance system that helps us in getting along (ref. Goleman p 139). By listening and seeing the issue from another's point of view, you engage in understanding the problem and understanding them. Not to suggest solutions, but more a way to show you care.
By being able to read your "contacts" feelings, you have a greater chance of acting/behaving in a way that suits their current situation/mood. This implies that if you seek for specific information or are trying to sell a product, it will easier if you have empathy with them, to achieve your goal.
How to do it?
Exercise: Learn to be empathic – not sympathetic
3. Coorporation
Why is it important?:
The importance of good coorporation is difficult to avoid. In every aspect of your life, you will need to corporate with people, in jobs, relationships, activities etc. Through good corporation better results will be achieved and wasted time and double work will be lowered. Good corporation will also create a good vibe around the work, bring the best out in team mates and make it more fun to do the work.
Also through iteration and with different influences, concepts will be developed and improved.
How to do it?
Exercise: Learn to corporate quickly
Exercise: See your teammates strengths/weaknesses
Exercise: The value of iteration
4. Persuasion
Why is it important?
A good skill to have to be successful is the ability to persuade. If it is a product you are selling, a story you are telling or just giving information about yourself, it is essential that people trust you and believe your word.
How to do it?
Exercise: persuade your friend something really bad is good (child work e.g.)
The Persuasion Exercise 1:
Persuasion Exercise 2 - selling:
5. Reach Concensus
Why is it important?
Being able to compromise and reach consensus is essential in closing "the deal" or getting something done. Maybe you have persuaded your friend at some point, but by showing you are willing to give something up in order for them take part in the agreement, you can win their confidence completely.
How to do it?
Exercise